Action Item #1: W
Action Item #2: T
Action Item #3: F
OK, so basically WTF applies only to the last minute of the show, when Jin Chap Lip shows up in the Dharma Scooby Doo Bus with shotgun in tow. What year is it? Is it the past? Is it the future? Oh I know what time it is, it's half past WTF.
Gin & Tonic Break
Action Item #4: Complaint
Why, why, WHY must they cut to commercial right before some steamy Jack-Kate lovin'? Hmmm? Oh sure, why would we want to see that? No, you're right, we'd much rather see nosebleeds and chapped lips. Come ON people, give me something I can work with here!
Action Item #Five: Welcome Back, Kotter
Kotter in this case being Bloody Ben. I was sort of drifting, do we know who turned him into a bloody pulp this time? I'm sure they said it, I just tend to zone in and out and accidentally hit mute and not realize it for twenty minutes, that sort of thing. Anyhoo, whoever clobbered him, I'd like to shake their hand. Bloody Ben reminds me of the good old days, aka that one season where his face was black and blue and yellow for the entire time. Oh here I go getting nostalgic again.
Action Item #6: I'll Take A Pound of Ground Beef and a Cadaver, Please
I have some major concerns about the health code violations involved with storing bodies in coffins in the back room of a butcher shop. Sure, the meat smells and freezing temperatures lend themselves to body storage, but nevertheless, I'm sure the health department would like to hear about this.
Action Item #Six + One: Jack "Imelda Marcos" Shephard
What's the deal with Jack's father's shoes? And swapping them out for Locke's Loafers? All I got out of that was that Jack has an apparent shoe fetish. And I'm sure there's more to it than that.
Action Item #Ate: "I Wish You Would Have Believed Me"
Nice suicide letter. You know, even in death, Locke is kind of a bitch. But of course, it causes some quiver lip crying out of Jack, so I'm happy. I'll give him something to cry about... sorry, the rage is bubbling.
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