Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Rainy Days and Time Travel Always Get Me Down

Welcome to the Lost Season Premiere Symposium. We have a lot to cover, so let's get down to business. Quiet in the back, please.


Action Item #1: Time Travel...How Stupid Does That Guy Think We Are?
The chubby construction worker in the Mine Before Time said it best...and apparently JJ and crew think we're pretty stupid. I can't even really argue. And just when I wasn't feeling quite stupid enough, the caption "three years earlier" comes up on the screen. Fantastic! Now we have time travel AND flashbacks. Why don't you just kick me in the brain repeatedly?

Action Item #2: Shirtless Sawyer: Past, Present, and Future
Though he's looking a little man-boobier than I remember, and his love handles are a little more, well, love handle-esque, the sight of Sawyer remains my go to happy place when the time travel just gets to be too much.

Action Item #3: Where's Boone?
So if Locke got sent back to when the drug plane crashed, why is he even on the island? Because the drug plane crashed before Oceanic 815 ever crashed. So shouldn't they be in LA or Australia or wherever merrily living their lives? And does this mean we're going to see Boone again, since if the plane just crashed, he hasn't had a chance to die yet? If Shannon comes back, I'm outta here.


It's Pre-Dead Ethan! I forgot how creepy Ethan is!

Action Item #4: Misty Water Colored Memories...
...of the Best. Girl Fight. Ever. Said memories were brought on by Sigh-eed's fight in the motel with whoever those guys were. Did anyone else see shades of the Sydney-Faux Francie fight scene from Alias? I believe the kitchen counter and dishwasher were used in similar ways. I'm sorry, I need a minute, I'm getting all nostalgic..."Francie doesn't like coffee ice cream." Sniff.


Ana Lucia,
Good to see ya!

Moment of Silence:
Sawyer put a shirt on

Action Item #E: Jill the BUTCHer
Who's Jill? Have we met her before? Is she going to put Locke in the meat grinder? Because they did that on the Sopranos once. Now there was a quality show. No time travel there.

Action Item #6: Who the frick is Neil?
Who is this annoying extra? I'm glad he got shot with a flaming arrow. I don't usually wish that for people, but he really had it coming. Plus, that guy is from some really annoying commercial from a long time ago. I feel like he was a pizza delivery guy or something in the commercial. I will give five dollars to anyone who can tell me what commercial he was in, b/c it will drive me crazy. Oh, and by "five dollars" I really mean "nothing".

We have visual confirmation that he is alive and well. Well, provided one of the flaming arrows doesn't get him...

Buzzkill Alert
Sawyer's disgusting foot. Put that thing away.

Action Item #Seven: What is this, Good Will Hunting?
Who's the Judi Dench look alike in the Little Green Riding Hood doing equations and such? Have we met her before? Is she Superman's mother? What the hell is going on?

As someone prone to nose bleeds (pretty hot, right?), I am concerned by what's occuring with Red Head with Accent. I had heretofore assumed the occasional winter dryness led to my nasal issues, however now I am concerned that I may have been exposed to Dharma Initiative gasses. If anything happens to me, tell the world my story...

Questions & Answers

Refreshment Break:
Fritters and Frappucinos in the back, please help yourself

Reminder about dress code
(pants are NOT optional)



  1. First of all, fabulous blog!

    You are so right about the Neil guy. I want to say he got blown up in a commercial and had powder all over his face - like Pizza Hut, Staples, Taco Bell, or something like that!

    Someone please remind me who else had a bloody nose on the island. It has happened before, right?

    I am liking the new mean Sun - I wonder what daddy-o said to her before her flight to LA?

    Yes, the time travel thing is getting to be a bit much - especially the skipping thing. They just better cram Locke into a portable cooler and get him back to save everyone. I don't know how many more white flashes I can take...

  2. QUOTE OF THE NIGHT, goes to Hurley: " You know, maybe if you ate more comfort food, you would wouldn't have to go around shooting people."

  3. This is a waay back reference but with all this time travel I went to work dressed in acid wash jeans, a flapper dress and ugg boots...didn't anyone think of Melrose Place watching that catfight with Sayid the bad guy and the dishwasher. Maytag (1), Badguys (0).

    And my fave line of the night goes to Sawyer. "Hey, Ginger, you can get one too.." when he slaps faraday. I still wish they'd find the SS Minnow awash on one of the shores.

  4. Yeah, now that you mention it, that fight did have a healthy dose of Melrose Place in it. If we wait long enough, maybe they'll time travel to a place where the island has a bitchin' apartment complex that surrounds a swimming pool.

    In more pressing news, I have uncovered who Neil the Thespian is. First of all, the character's full name is Neil Frogurt. Is that a tip of the hat to drinkable yogurt? Anyway, iMDb tells me that the actor's name is Sean Whalen, and his other "works" (which seems generous) were commercials for: Ocean Spray, Little Caesar's, DiGiorno, Milk, and Starburst Jelly Beans. And with a little more sleuthing, I'm sure I could find the one I'm thinking of on YouTube, but for now I'm going to pretend I have a life.

    Oh...and in 2007 there was an episode of Lost that he was in called "The Adventures of Hurley and Frogurt". Did I just miss him entirely back then, or did he just not annoy me as much? I mean, they named an EPISODE after him...

  5. A few comments:

    1. FANTASTIC blog!

    2. We never had a chanc at the $5....I knew you would answer your own question.

    3. Some of us would appreciate it if you would express a little more care and concern where Vincent is concerned. We love that dog. (Where are Michael and Walt?)

    4. The Sydney/Faux Francie fight involved a utensil drawer and a cutting board. Most memorable.

    5. I do not know who any of these people are: Frogurt, Richard, Dan, the red head, the red head's cranky riend, Jill the butcher, the blonde with the chalkboard and pendulum. Do you think this will affect my ability to keep up? I am trying.